The First Seven Years

Jack likes Mary Ann but doesn't know how to tell her; he gets advice from the neighborhood beat cop, Officer Kennedy, who tells him to be a cave man. That goes badly (Mary Ann whups him), so Kennedy suggests Jack go home, clean up, put on a suit, and bring her candy. While Jack's getting ready, Speck puts the moves on Mary Ann; when Jack comes back, he challenges Speck to a fight. Mary Ann, who reads romantic novels, suggests they fight a duel. With Chubby and Farina as their seconds, the knights errant don makeshift armor and have at it. Trouble is, Speck is good and has a very sharp sword. Will Jack live to tell the tale?